An excerpt from A Diversity of Friendships

Published in Beyond the Roles: A Biblical Foundation for Women and Ministry in 2019.

Several years ago, after presenting a workshop downtown, I couldn’t find where I’d parked my car. I remembered exiting an underground garage through a nondescript office building and glancing at the nearest cross streets so that I could find my way back. But when I retraced my steps, I grew increasingly confused. Had I misremembered? Not walked far enough? I roamed steaming streets for an hour and a half. The fact that I knew what space I had parked in was little comfort. I berated myself. “Who loses an entire parking garage?”

Finally, I walked into a local nonprofit and confessed my situation. The employees pulled out a map, and one staffer offered to drive me around. But then, as if by divine summons, a long-time church member walked by.

“Jim!” I called. As we hugged each other like old friends, the staffer looked on curiously. Why was this professionally-dressed Caucasian woman hugging an African American man in work boots and paint-splattered overalls? “This is Jim,” I explained. “He goes to my church!” Gracious friend that he is, Jim volunteered to drive me around in his truck and reunite me with my car.

Sometimes, people are visibly curious when diverse groups from my church eat out together. “So, how do you all know each other? Do you work together?” waitresses ask. After all, what could a young Korean guy, a middle-aged African American woman, a balding white guy, and the thirty-something Latina have in common?

We have Jesus in common.

But because most American churches have struggled to embrace the diversity in their regions, the decades-old fellowship I’ve enjoyed with Jim and others from different ethnic, racial, or socio-economic backgrounds is, sadly, too rare…